And Now, Your Most Horrifying Stories Of Being Caught Masturbating

I'm gonna tell the Price Is Right story now, because I don't think I've ever told it in full, so here goes (deep breath): I had just transferred to a new college, and my roommate was a year ahead of me. Football player. Perfectly nice dude. We weren't buddy buddies, but we managed to co-exist amiably. Anyway, the… » 10/24/14 4:20pm Yesterday 4:20pm

The Hater’s Guide To Your Local Halloween Store

Every year, when October rolls around, some enterprising fellow in my area rents out an abandoned Dollar Tree and turns it into a pop-up Halloween Megastore, resplendent with costumes and decorations and fitting rooms that almost certainly now house the Ebola virus. Almost everything in these stores costs $30 or… » 10/23/14 3:02pm Thursday 3:02pm

Hey, Bill Simmons, Come Work For Us!

Bill Simmons's three-week suspension from ESPN ends on Wednesday, and there is already a lot of conjecture about how the suspension has affected his relationship with higher-ups at ESPN, and if he will stay with the network when his contract is up next year. He could stay at ESPN. He could go to Bleacher Report… » 10/09/14 3:06pm 10/09/14 3:06pm

A Field Guide To American Truthers

There were no truthers back in the 20th century. I grew up in the Golden Age of Kennedy Assassination Conspiracies, but the word "truther" was never used to describe Oliver Stone or any of the other folks who decried the Magic Bullet theory. (DISCLOSURE: I saw JFK when I was in high school and took every scene as… » 10/02/14 1:35pm 10/02/14 1:35pm