My Kid’s Insane List Of Reasons To Be Thankful, Annotated

I have an 8-year-old who has something of an overactive imagination, which is a good thing for a child to have, in theory. There are entire 10,000-word think pieces and scientific studies now about how all playgrounds should be replaced with an open field and a giant barrel of sticks so that kids can go construct an… » 11/17/14 2:22pm 11/17/14 2:22pm

“Fuckin’ Adrian Peterson, Man.” Fun With Chris Pratt!

I did a whole big cover story on Chris Pratt for GQ (which you can read right here), but if you're one of those people who reply THA GOD to every single Instagram photo of him and you need more Pratt in your life, there will be a shitload of extras from the article posting there online tomorrow. For now, here is a… » 11/17/14 1:06pm 11/17/14 1:06pm

The Fuck Is Wrong With LeBron? Some Theories

Holy shit, the Cavaliers are 1-3! ONE AND THREE! OH MY GOD, CLEVELAND IS CLEVELANDING ALL OVER ITSELF AGAIN! Now, listen: I know that newly assembled teams like this need time to gel, and that the NBA regular season is fucking stupid, and that the Heat struggled in a similar fashion at first with LeBron, and that all… » 11/06/14 4:59pm 11/06/14 4:59pm

And Now, Your Worst Halloween Costume Stories

We were living in Chicago when I was six, and I chose to be a ghost for Halloween. I made the costume myself, because cutting two holes in a sheet seems like an easy task. Of course, I had to cut a third eyehole, because my first two were off-alignment. I also failed to consider the fact that a ghost costume has… » 10/31/14 11:36am 10/31/14 11:36am